Friday, January 28, 2011

Man I really need to write more often!!!!

Ok ok.... I know it has been so long. I kind of gave up the blog during student teaching. I still can't believe I made it out alive. Student teaching+work+baby+husband+life=one crazy mommy!!!!!
Now please don't get me wrong.... I love my life and my sweet family. It was just a bit overwhelming for a while. Kyle and I finally made it out of college. WooHoo!!! It was about time.

I am so proud of my amazing husband. He worked 30 hours a week and went to school with a young baby and wife. I amazed he kept his sanity. We were so excited to graduate. Well things were going great until a week before Christmas. Kyle and I decided to move to Alabama to be close to my family. We have lived in Oklahoma since before we were married. We felt like job finding may be a bit easier with some help from my side. Kaylee and I caught a flight home. We thought it wouldbe easier to fly with her instead of having her in a car for 15 hours. Kyle was going to drive, and we also had movers. Kyle was to leave Tuesday morning after the movers came. I went to bed around 10 that night. Kyle had just sent me a message that he was headed to bed as well. Around 4am I received a call from a number I did not recognize. I hung up on the number since Kaylee was asleep next to me. I did not want it to wake her up. Well it called back. I thought that better answer it just in case. My worst nightmare came true. It was Kyle calling from the security office at OC. He had been mugged. I immediately jumped out of bed and screamed. I had no idea what to think or say. I was just praising God that he was alive. The worst part is that he no longer had a phone. This is when I wished we had invested in a house phone. We had service, just no wall phone. Stupid I know. Well we did have facebook chat at least. We also got on skype. I cried when I saw his busted lip. He told me the whole story. He decided to go look at the Christmas lights downtown. He was unable to sleep. He did not call me, because he knew Kaylee was sleeping. Oh and he knew I would tell him not to go by himself. He stopped at an ATM to withdraw $6oo. We needed that the next day for the movers. He then went downtown to look at the lights. Yes I know. Who in the world carries that kind of cash on them. He was on his way back to the car to go home, and a guy came out with a gun. He made Kyle face the other direction so not to see his face. The guy pushed the gun into his back, and made Kyle give up everything. He got his wallet, his ipod, his phone, and even took his glasses off his face. His wallet had both of our id's and all of our credit cards and money. Not to mention insurance cards. I know that he can't use them, but neither can we now. He also took his keys. Ok now I have to be humble. I stayed on Kyle's case for quite a while about putting the car key on his key chain. I thought it was so odd that he carried it separately. He always lost it. Well Kyle was able to keep the car key since the guy did not find it on him. So he could at least get home. Kyle also had to tell the guy the pin number to our bank account. I later asked him why he did not lie to the guy, and Kyle made a good point. He had to go bvack to the apartment. The guy knew exactly where we lived, and had our key. I doubt the guy would have showed up there, but you never know. It was just better to give it to him. The guy ended up getting gas in 2 cars, and withdrawing some cash before we could get the card cut off. We got it back thanks to protection. The cops had a pic of him at the ATM, but he had a hood on. All we know is that he had a red hood on. Kyle came through it ok, but it could have been very different. We could have lost him that night. We were very very very inconvenienced financially by tghis guy, but I stil get to hold my husband, and Kaylee gets to have a daddy.
It makes me so angry to think that people do this type of thing. I Can't seem to grasp how a person could do it. I had a hard time for a while. I kept picturing it in my head. I would have nightmares about it. Kyle seemed to get over it so fast. I asked him how in the world he could be at peace so quickly! What he said really made sense. He for one had several hours in the car to think and pray. God really worked on his heart. He said that he started out angry. He was so mad and furious that his life could have been taken. He was angry that all of our money was gone. We were in a spot. But then he realized that this was a very desperate human. This guy felt like this was the only way. There was no telling what kind of life he has. He realized that no matter what this man had done, we still had to love and pray for him. He spent hours one night telling ,e about how he had forgiven this guy. I was amazed. I could not believe how strong of a man I had married. I had forgiven the guy, but I was stilll fearful. I had lost trust for society. I became much more cautious.
Once he arrived in Alabama, I threw my arms around him and never thought I would let go. Well more drama was around the corner. The movers came back into our lives. They ended up charging us double what their quote was. When they left, we discovered they had stolen 3 boxes marked video games and DVD's. We were out another grand. Our wedding movies were even in there. I was not upset about the fact that they had just cost us more money. I was upset and humans in general. Once again we had been let down. What was going on with people!!!! And this was Christmas eve. I was beside myself. I have always been the person to go above and beyond for people in need. I can't stand to see people hurt.
My love of people was really tested. I have realized now, that God made everyone. He made us in His image. This does not mean that everyone is going to act accordingly. This only means that we have to love everyone like He does. These people came into our lives for a moment, but effected it for the rest our lives. We grew so much over Chgristmas. I keep thinking that maybe the guy downtown needed to give his children a good christmas. Maybe he needed the money for them. Maybe the movers were in the same situation. I will never find out, but hopefully even their evil helped an inocent child. I love all of them. I love that they are created by God. I hate their evil. I hate that satan got a hold of them. My prayer is that they come to know their savior before it is too late. I kept thinking about all the people I worked with at celebrate recovery. Their was a group of prisoners that attended. I kept thinking that they may have been involved in things like this. They have taken steps to change, and so could these people. It helped me to remember some of the people I have met in CR. It helped to grasp how people can change. I praise God that I had that oppertunity.
Other than that Christmas was great. We had a new reason to celebrate. We could celebrate life and love. We celebrated the love of our family and friends. We could celevbrate our daughters first Christmas has a family. Kaylee Beth has been a joy and a blessing in our lives. We are so thankful for this little angel God has sent us. She has only brought us closer together. I will try to update often.

God Bless

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Yes I know it has been a while since I posted. Life has been very crazy. Now don't get me wrong...... It has been a good kind of crazy. We just got back from our 6 week trip to Alabama. Kaylee Beth is so different now. When we left for Alabama she was really not doing much of anything. Now she is smiling, laughing and breaking hearts. She has developed a very strong attachment to mommy lately. I am so flattered and thrilled, but sometimes it gets overwhelming. Either way I would not change her for anything. I just can't believe how different she is now. She has grown so much over the past few weeks. Here is an example.

The above are pictures of Kaylee right before we left for Alabama. Now check out the difference.

This is her today. She is smiling and holding toys. It truly is amazing how fast they grow.

We had a great time. Kaylee had her first 4th of July.

She also held her first toy.

But the greatest thing of all was seeing that gorgeous smile for the first time.

My parents had so much fun with her. They absolutely loved getting to meet their granddaughter.

It were so sad to leave, but we had to get back to reality. Back to school until December. We will be moving to Alabama to be near my family after graduation.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Weight loss after baby

Ok people. This is it. This is my number one demon. MY WEIGHT!!!!!!
I absolutely hate my body. It was bad before I had Kaylee, and now it is just plane disgusting. I am absolutely tired of it, and I plan to change it. I know I will never be skinny, but hey.... a girl can dream. I plan to lose 85 pounds. Laugh if you must. I did to when I first set this goal. I figure I should set it high. I just want to be able to shop in any store I want to. I want to go in and not have to buy the largest pair of pants they sell. Here are some pics of what I once looked like.

Not the best quality, but you get the point. This is where I want to be again. Well my goal will actually get me smaller then this. I need to do this for myself. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing the great blob that I have become. So here goes nothing.......

Monday, July 19, 2010

Life of a mom.....

Yes I realize how late it is. This is the only time I get for myself usually. I love it when everyone is in bed, and I am left alone. lol. I love my family dearly, but sometimes I need some time to just relax and do something for me. I am learning how to do that. I have not really told many people about this, but I have a deep dark secret. I feel like part of my recovering is to let my friends and family in on it. While I was in the hospital everything was great. I was so excited to finally meet my daughter. I had it made. I had so many great people helping me. I was never alone with the baby, and people were basically doing my job for me. Well when we got home some things started to happen. I was getting very over protective of her. I did not even want the grandparents to hold her at times. I had no idea why this was happening. I would even cry when she cried. I could not handle the idea of my little girl crying. I wanted to fix every little problem. About 2 weeks into her life, Kyle had to go back to work, and the grandparents went home. I was left alone with Kaylee for the first time. I freaked out and called Kyle that night. He left work early. I started going to work with Kyle after that night. I was so embarrassed. I had no idea why I was feeling this way. I spoke to my doctor about the problems. To my surprise she told me I was having post pardon depression. This sounds odd, but it was music to my ears. I say this because I know they can treat this condition. I felt like I was going crazy at times. She said that she went through the same thing. She put me on some meds, and gave me the task of gaining confidence in myself as a mom. She said having a C-section did not help the matter. Sge said that recovering from major surgery can also bring you down a bit. I have felt so much better recently. I did not notice a change at first, but Kyle tells me that I am so good with her now. It was so hard on Kyle at first. She would cry and cry and cry because all she wanted was her mother. But I was so blind to this. Now I see how we have bonded. She will only eat for me at times, and she will only go to sleep for me. She loves mommy and needs me. That has been the biggest confidence builder. There are times when no one can calm her down, but when mommy takes her she instantly stops. This is an amazing feeling. I still get sad from time to time, but for the most part I am much better. This was very hard to talk about. You never think something like this will ever effect you. I always thought this type of problem made you feel violent towards the baby. This just is not true. It can, but not in every case. The doctor told me that I should stay on the meds for 3 months.
In other news. Tonight was a tough one. Sometimes Kaylee has days where mommy and daddy want to cry with her. I think she got a bit too hot this afternoon. We really were not out long, but for a small baby it was just too hot. We got home and sat down to feed her, and she threw up everywhere. Poor Kyle was soaked. I had no idea a baby could throw up that much. The funny thing is that she laughed at Kyle after she did it. She did not seem to feel bad. So she had an emergency bath in the sink. My poor baby. She was also in one of those"I only want mommy to hold me moods". I had to hold her the entire time we were getting groceries tonight. I don't mind a bit. She will get so hungry and still refuse to eat for Kyle. I will take over and she will eat instantly. I guess sometimes the girl just wants mommy. Well that is all for tonight. I am starting my weight loss program and taking Kaylee for walks every morning before the heat sets in. I will start a blog about weight loss after baby later.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

The whole story.....

Today was a great day of worship and fellowship. My day started out rough with a bad headache and stomach ache, but it got so much better. The sweet little angel is sleeping in her bouncer, so I guess I better take this chance to tell the birth story.
Well it all started back in August of 09. I had been having such bad cramps for a week before my period was due. I just thought I was in for a long hard cycle. I woke up one morning around 3 am in pain. Kyle had been such a great husband rubbing my back every night. He finally said enough is enough. He got out of bed and went up to the drug store. He came back with a box of midol and a preg test. I laughed at him because cramps were not a sign of pregnancy. Oh boy was I wrong. I guess he had a mans intuition. So to humor him I took the preg test. He would not let me have the midol until I did. I was so mad and just wanted my meds. I went into that bathroom mad, and came out in tears. It was positive. Kyle could not believe it. He had to go to work that morning, so I called my friend Jess and we went up to the doctor to get a blood test. That was the proof that we could not deny. We stopped by Kyle's work and gave him the good news. He had a birthday party that night, so we told his friends then. What a great birthday surprise it was!!! A week later I started having awful pains. We thought that I was having a miscarriage, so we went to the ER. We found out that I had 2 ovarian cyst. The doctor would keep a close eye on them through the pregnancy. They caused me a good deal of pain, but they eventually shrunk and stopped hurting me around my 6th month.
The pregnancy was great for the most part. The first 3 months were basically morning sickness and more morning sickness. Whoever named it that should be shot. I had all day sickness. I lost so much weight my first few weeks because I could not eat. Oh but don't worry. It all came back. lol. The next few weeks went great. I had daily headaches and heart burn, but you seriously get used to it. Warm baths became my friend. In December we had a bad snow and ice storm come through. Kyle and I had to run up to the pharmacy to pick up something. Well I had done so good being careful out in the ice. I walk in the store and slipped on some water and fell on my back. According to the manger that watched the video, I flew up in the air and hit pretty hard. It knocked the wind out of me. That was a fun night in the ER. The baby kicked the mess out of me the rest of the night. I guess God knew how worried I was, and let my little angel kick me all night so I would know she was ok. I started student teaching in January. It started out great. Of course I was tired and worn out, but for the most part things were going great. I strted to get pretty swollen towards the end of my first site. I just figured it was normal. Well about 3 weeks into my second site I started to get very ill. I was throwing up quite a bit, and I had stopped gaining weight. My blood pressure was climbing, and I was just in bad shape. We had to make a visit to the ER one night to discover my BP was high and I was showing signs of early labor. They gave me a shot to stop labor and suggested bed rest. I cried on the way home because I knew what this meant. We had to make a very hard choice. I wanted to continue student teaching, but Kyle felt like it was too dangerous. He saw something that I could not see. He saw how sick I was getting. My parents even made comments about how tired and swollen I was. I was heart broken, but I had to let it go. Kaylee Beth was the most wonderful thing in my life. I had to do it for her. I had to step down from student teaching 3 weeks before graduation. I will be making the time up in the fall. So I still get to graduate, just not when we thought I would.
A week before she was due I had my 39 week check up. I was only dilated 1cm. The doctor had worried about this early on. She did not want me dilating too early. Well know it was time, and I had not dilated enough. She wanted to induce that week, but was too afraid to since I had not dilated enough. She told me that if by the next week if I had not gone into labor, she would induce. Well May 22nd came. I went to bed early because I had a bad headache. I woke up around 9 that night with back pain. They would come and go. My mom had told me about her back labor, so I called her. I told her that they were pretty bad, but I could not really time it. She was convinced I was having back contractions. I was not so convinced. Kyle was at work that night. He had to work until 1am. Mom told me to call him and get him home just in case. So I called. I told him that I thought this may be it, but I can't tell. He came home around 11. When he got home, I was on my hands and knees. This actually made it feel better. He rubbed my back and it got so much better. I took a warm shower and it basically stopped. I told him that there is no way this is labor since it stopped in the shower. We decided to go get a pizza at walmart since we had not eaten in hours. This was around 1am. I was having more back pain at walmart, but nothing to write home about. I just thought I had a back ache. They are so common in pregnancy. Well it was around 3 when we got done eating. The back pain was getting worse. I decided to take a shower, shave my legs and wash my hair just in case we have to go to the hospital. Hey, I have to look good for the hospital. lol. Well I had to sit down to do my hair since they hurt so bad. We climbed into bed around 3:30 to go to sleep. We had given up by this time. While Kyle was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, this odd pain in my tummy came. This was like no other pain I had felt. I called Kyle in the room. I grabbed him and squeezed. Yep this was it. This was the pain I had heard so much about. The scary thing was that they were only 5 minutes apart. We called the hospital and started running like chickens with our heads cut off. In between contractions I was getting dressed and grabbing things. I would stop and pound on the wall during contractions. I felt great in between them. Poor Kyle was starting to panic. He really started to panic at 4am when my water broke. I was sitting in the rocking chair waiting for Kyle to pull the car up and it broke. The contractions were now 3 minutes apart. Now he was really in panic. We hit the interstate and got to Lakeside hospital quick. I was on the phone with my mom all the way there.
When we got to the hospital they said I was 4 cm dilated and I could have my epidural in one hour after they get some fluids in me. The doctor kept saying how fast I was moving along. She said most first time moms do not have their baby's this fast. I was thrilled about this. She gave me some pitocin to help make me move faster. I still to this day do not know why she gave me this since I was progressing so quickly. They gave me a pain killer at first that was amazing. So I really did not feel my contractions for long. By around noon I was ready to start pushing. The doc came in and said I could start around 1pm. The nurse came in at one to check me one last time. While she was checking she had this awful look on her face. She called several nurses in and a couple of doctors. The made me roll over to my left side. The baby's heart rate was going down. They scared the mess out of me. They had to put a monitor on her head. The doctor told me that she did not think the baby could handle me pushing. She felt like it would cause her heart rate to go down again. If it did go down again, they may not be able to get it back up, and I will have to have an emergency C-section. So I decided to have the C-section. She would have allowed me to try, but there was no way I was going to put Kaylee in danger. They took me back around ten after 1, and I had a baby girl at 1:38. It is amazing how fast it went. Oh and just for future reference. Do not eat pizza before you go into labor. I had massive heart burn during the surgery. I was screaming in pain thanks to it. I did not feel what they were doing, but oh the heart burn was awful.
Recovery went well. We came in Sunday morning and left Wednesday afternoon with our sweet bundle of joy. I had to run up to the hospital a couple of times to have my incision treated. It came open once or twice, but other then that it was ok. Everything was pretty routine. They were pretty worried about my BP after delivery, but with some meds we got it down. They think it was just the pain that was causing it to happen. Kaylee is now a very healthy 2 month old baby girl.

Ready to go home and start my life with mommy and daddy!!!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

What a life.

Ok here we go. I have never made a blog before. I thought it sounded like a great idea. I love reading my friends, so why not start my own. I guess I should start by telling you some background info. We were married on December 22nd 2007. It was the happiest day of my life. Well thus far. We had our first baby girl on May 23rd 2010. We are so blessed to have such a wonderful little family. She has blessed our lives in so many ways. I will tell you more about the pregnancy in another blog. It was a long 9 months, but it was so worth it. Well I hope everyone enjoys reading our story and our updates.